So! It's been a while, hasn't it?

Okay, I'll admit - it's been a while. I was hoping to do this a tad more often then I have been. But things happen, life happens and shit goes pear shaped. I have been trying to readjust to a life that doesn't involve me working at a job anymore and the lack of incoming funds because of that fact. Things have been hard, there is no denying it, but here I am, still surviving and moving forward. With any luck, my SSDI will get approved and I can have a steady source of funds coming in again.

Things with my son haven't gotten much easier, he's still causing me a lot of grieve, acting out and just plain old making my life hell. We have good days, and we definitely have our bad days. It's just hard, being a single woman, trying to raise a good and strong young man. But, no one ever said that my life choices were going to be easy. I knew they weren't, but I still made the choices that I have made. But I would be lying if I didn't say I would do it all over again. And again and again. I love my son, and I know (I hope!) that he loves me too. I just want him to listen more, but that's asking too much, because I'm not only a girl, but I'm "mom" - therefore my cooties level is increase tremendously! 

On the brighter side of things - I have (some) hope again, for the first time in a long time. I am trying to get approved for having a gastric bypass. I wish I didn't need to go this route, I have seen the downside of having this surgery, especially over the long term. But at the same time, my weight has gotten so out of control, I have realized that I just can't do it on my own anymore. I'm struggling as it is to just not gain more weight. Sadly, my insurance company has the final say, but I'm hoping that by May or early June - I will be able to schedule it. It's going to be a lot for me to undertake and it will be a major struggle. I will be forced to address my emotions and find ways to deal with them that won't involve being able to dive head first into a pint of Ben & Jerry's at any point that I want to.

I have recently submitted a story to a friend's podcast to hopefully have it played on a future episode. I'm hoping he will play it, and that people will be able to connect with my story on some level. So, we shall see! Or hear in this case...

On the upside of things, I have a "date night" coming up on Tuesday. One of my best friends, who is also an exboyfriend and I are going to the movies on Tuesday. I'm probably making more out of it then I should be, but it's nice to know that a man wants to take me out in public. So, here's to hoping. I don't expect much, but I just want a chance to realize that I am still attractive to the opposite sex.

Until next time - enjoy your cookies and make sure your tiara is on straight and shining brightly!