Another Day, Another Frustration...

Like the title says - it's been another one of those kind of days, y'know? I had to be moving and shaking a bit early today because I was finally able to go downtown into the city to meet with a new disability lawyer about my case. He seemed confident that we could win, but my "young" age and with my educational background - it could make things a bit more difficult. I just wish this would happen already. I mean - not having my own place, money or a car has taken a real toll on my ability to function. I tend to go a bit stir crazy when I stay cooped up in the house day in and day out. So, I will sometimes just "disappear" with my ex father-in-laws' car for a bit. Fortunately he doesn't seem to mind. I mean, I'm careful and put gas in the car and always ask if he needs anything. So it's cool for the most part but it's just tough on me emotionally.

J is causing more problems then ever! His father was blowing up my phone earlier, flipping out about me apparently having appointments on the weekends, what if he had plans for J on the weekend and keeping him "out so late". I had to, as usual, remind him that he can't go blowing up at me. That there's nothing wrong with asking, but not to take everything J says as gospel! I don't have any appointments this weekend and I'm allowed to take him out for dinner and hair cuts if I want to. It's not like I drove to The Shore with him, I was in the area and had him back to his place before 8pm. I'm just sick and tired of him constantly blowing up my phone about stuff, without even taking the time to calmly ask me questions or trying to think clearly about what J is saying to him. I mean, he expects me to never fully believe everything he says to me, but heaven forbid knuckle head grants me the same respect. It's just gotten really old and tiresome. All I know is - I need to figure out if the measly pension I get each month is taxable and file my 2016 taxes ASAP. Because I wouldn't put it past him to try to claim J on his own taxes. And that is NOT going to happen. He lived with me for half the year and I still take care of his expenses. I pay for his clothes, hair cuts, insurance, transportation, doctor visits and daily expenses. All he does is make sure he's back there and pretends to sleep. Not even like he makes sure that J takes his medication which he's court ordered to do so.

On a brighter note, last night was fun! I was able to get together with an old Weight Watchers girlfriend and we hung out at a local Starbucks for almost 2 hours last night. It was really nice to get out of the house and spend time with a person who I have things in common with and have real, adult conversations! I mean, I know I can talk to Sr. when I want, but it's not the same as a girlfriend with small kids of her own and be able to joke around and complain. It was really nice. And she does the Jamberry nail wraps and I finally broke down and got some. I have a set on now actually. I'm a bit bummed that when I was pealing an orange earlier tonight, the one wrap lifted a bit. But she said if I heat it up with my hair dryer and push it back down - it should behave. I'm not a fan that they don't cover all of my nails but it's only when I'm looking for perfection do I notice it. What is also nice, we're supposed to get together again tomorrow night. Which will be really cool. I just need to get out more and interact with other people of my age and common interests.

As far as the weight loss, which is the giant elephant in this blog post, is going. Though I am unsure of how well. I was at my PCP's office on Monday getting J his physical for school sports and weighed myself. According to that scale, I've gained a few pounds. Which doesn't make any sense. Though it was the day after my birthday, and my body was still full of all the salt that comes with Chinese food. So, I just need to get back on track and keep on trucking. I need to get thru this and drop the weight. If for no other reason - it'd be nice to drive my fils' car and not have the steering wheel digging into my stomach. Makes it a bit difficult to steer and all. 

Mentioning my birthday, it was a really nice one this year. My mom paid for me to get my hair done (I got a PERM!!!!), she bought me a Ninja so I can make my own smoothies and not debate going to the YMCA just for one, a new pair of Nike's, Billy got me some bath bombs, and my one aunt (who loves herself some Amazon Prime!) sent me VEGAN and GLUTEN-FREE bombs! Never knew such a thing existed but they're really cool. And she also sent me a lovely new bath sheet/towel. Billy picked us up around 3pm, we dropped J off at my mother's house, went to Kohl's to get some socks and then went ALL the way downtown to pick up Grace. I happened to mention in the car to Billy if we had to go to this one restaurant which apparently translated to J telling mom that I didn't want to go at all. Which was KINDA true, but combine that with the fact that we didn't get back from getting Grace until 7pm - we just ordered Chinese. Mom didn't want to go out, it was also raining and pretty bad at points. And we had a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. Everyone else has been getting Cold Stone cakes, but NOTHING beats a DQ one in my book! It would have had been great if my other sister could have been there but she was ordered into work. So it wasn't like I could get mad at her. But I did text her and thanked her for running around to get my cake and some other things for me. Regardless, it was a nice day. Made the transition into my 35th year a bit easier. It's really nice when the family is able to get together and everything goes smoothly. I wanted to go see my dad but it had been raining for a while before Billy picked me up, so there was just no way. I didn't want to sit in the mud. I just have to make a point to go again soon. Haven't been there in a while... I still miss him dearly every day but the pain has eased, which is really nice.

This morning was also interesting. I was at that point where you're not fully asleep nor fully awake but still dreaming. And I was dreaming that I was sitting at my desk when I was at PennDot and was "helping" customers. It seemed SO real, it was eery. It happens some times, and it's just weird because it brings some interesting feelings back. I miss my work, I really loved my job - it was the management that I couldn't handle. I was hated and had my life made unbearable simply because I was "young", white and a female. But whatever, it's not like I'm going back there ANY time soon! Just need to keep moving forward.

Well! I think I've ranted long enough, and I need to see if I can steal the remote and watch myself some more Judge Judy! GOD! Do I LOVE that woman! I've learned a lot from watching her for so many years. Mainly, how to behave in a court room, and to get EVERYTHING in writing! 

Until next time...