My good people - I missed my introduction!

If anyone whose actually reading this can name that movie - gets a free blow job! I kid, I kid! Or am I...?

Okay, so it's been a little bit since I was last on here. Sue me, it's a free blog! Unfortunately, it's not like I've been super busy, just going along with my life. Right now, I'm worried about the season change. See, I have Bipolar II, which is the one where you're depressed most of the time, with only periodical manic episodes. But what I also have is seasonal depression. Combine those with the depression of not living with J - I'll be happy to make it thru the winter!

A little bit over 2 weeks ago, I joined Weight Watchers again, and so far - I've lost -14.8lbs! I'm a bit scared because that's a lot to lose in 2 weeks, but if the scale either goes down again or even just stays the same - I'll be a VERY happy camper. Maybe I'll get in enough of a groove, that maybe I can back away from having the surgery... But I don't want to get a head of myself yet. Have to take everything in baby steps.

J has been acting out a lot as of late. His father keeps telling me that it's my fault that we're not getting along. What he doesn't realize - my relationship with J was perfectly fine PRIOR to J having to move in there. I mean, yes we did have our issues, but we also spent a lot of time together. It's just hard to effectively parenting a child that no longer lives under the same roof as you, and the child is living with a parent that has not been a true constant and the child fears that if he doesn't act accordingly - that parent won't love him anymore and might leave him. Which is no place for a child to be. And I have to be understanding of the complicated needs the J has right now.

I came to the conclusion tonight that I have a SERIOUS problem with having postage stamps! Like - I have 6 different sheets of stamps! Varying sizes, shapes and pretty details. And I was going to buy MORE today!!! Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on thoughts) I spent too much money at Walmart and I chose to pay a credit card bill instead. It's just scary. And tonights I found myself writing some cards to friends, and tomorrow I am sending one friend a note in what is possibly the smallest envelope EVER! Just because there was a stamp on it and I never returned the meal card to a cousin's wedding. Oh well! At least she didn't waste money and I put the stamp to good use!

Today with J was extra stressful. I was on my way to pick him up from school, I had even contacted the school to tell them to bring him to the front office and as I'm turning onto a road to head to the school - guess who I see walking on the other side of the road!? I was PISSED! And eventually I realized that he had gone to school this morning because his father dropped him off, he was apparently seen by his homeroom teacher and then he walked out and off of school property! Because I never had gotten an email from the school telling me that he wasn't there. So, no one knew that J actually, intentionally wasn't in school. Fortunately, proving that I am learning from all my decades in therapy and our behaviorist that comes once a week to meet with us, I never yelled or raised my voice. I just made him call his father and tell him. Which J was NOT thrilled about, but it needed to be done. Ultimately, when we were done running some errands, I took him back to his father and we had a conversation. I had taken J's phone yesterday because it took me over 2 hours to get him to come over to my place for our appointment with the behaviorist. I was supposed to keep it until tomorrow after I got home from a doctor's appointment, but I gave it back to him today. He apparently went digging around in his father's bedroom, and found his live-in girlfriends' old phone and was playing with it. And he lied about it, but his father found photo's of J on the phone. But what sucks is, his phone is the main and really only way I have right now, to discipline him. But when he doesn't have a phone - he gets his ass into even MORE trouble then he would have had been in, in the first place. It's annoying because my ex and I are both at our wit's end on what to do with him. And I sadly, don't see it changing any time soon. But we will have to wait and see, I guess.

I'm hungry. And I've used up all my points for today and don't want to delve any deeper into my extra weekly points because I know I used a bunch yesterday. I really need to go up to my bedroom and pretend to sleep, but that's not going to happen for at least a little bit longer. Gotta finish watching Judge Judy! I actually got some control over the remote tonight and got to watch 2 episodes of Speechless (TOTALLY must watch!), I'm on my second Judge Judy, and I got to watch Quantico (which you ALSO must watch!). It was nice to actually get some tv time in. Hopefully I can watch some more tomorrow... It's hard to fight over the DVR control. My ex brother in law likes to delete all my shows. He doesn't care that I don't get to watch much tv when Sr. is downstairs and has the remote, and Jr. comes down after I go up to watch his own shows. Hopefully, since I begged tonight - he'll stop doing it! Because I have to go back and figure out what it was he most decently deleted.

Well, I've ranted long enough and need to try to get some sleep, because tomorrow is free coffee day at Wawa, and I plan on getting at least 3 cups! Which means, I need to shower early in the morning... 

Until next time...